Why I Chose This Path

Wicca is a Path dear to my heart, one that I have been aware of since my early teenage years. I discovered Wicca by discovering two books one day at the bookstore. The first was Magical Rites of the Crystal Well by Ed Fitch, a wonderful collection of illustrations and writings from the now-defunct magazine The Crystal Well. Heartily cheered to find words and thoughts that seemed so beautiful and so right to me, I looked for more, which is when I came across Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham. Wow - now this was an even more wonderful realization - that this was something I could explore on my own. (This was especially perfect, as it is for so many who choose this Path, as I was far from Prom-Queen popular in school.)

So I took the money I had been saving, and bought those two dear books. I poured over them, reading and rereading, reflecting on the images and thoughts I had found within. I took meticulous care of those books, yet, even so, they were very soon getting a bit dog-eared.

For what it's worth, I bought one other book during those early years of exploration: Raymond Buckland's Practical Color Magick, a totally different book than the other two, yet interesting and mind expanding, nonetheless. Together, these three books carried me throughout into my first year or so of college.

I dedicated myself to the Goddess and God, and took what, for me, was necessarily a slow exploration of what it meant to be Wiccan. Everything felt so right. And then I met my husband, and we married.

Well, I am sure a lot of you can get what I am going to say next. My husband is a Christian. So, for the next seven years, I mostly didn't follow my Path. I tried following his. Time and time again, though, I kept coming back to what felt right - natural magic, the Divine in all and not removed, The Divine Creator as All Things - and whose feminine aspects I felt more comfortable with.

Now, as with all marriages, ours has flaws, but being open to spiritual discussion is one thing my husband and I have in common. So these things were discussed openly and often. And my DH, like so many people raised within the Christian faith, felt most uncomfortable with Wiccan and Pagan beliefs and practices. And I respected his feelings and opinions. So for many years, I set up no altar, and did not follow my path overtly.

I know what a lot of you are going to say: Wicca is just as valid and proper Path as any other positive approach to the Divine. I agree, and always have. But, for so many years, I looked at lot practicing my faith as being part of the give and take of marriage. So I let a lot of things go, and believed what I believed, and still struggled to find a place for myself on my husband's Path.

And then, last year, I turned 27. And I had the most wonderful conversation with a dear friend of mine, who I have since lost touch with, unfortunately. (I pray that we cross paths again!) I don't recall all of the details, but she pointed out the confluence of sevens in my life - 7 years of marriage, 7 years difference in age between my husband and myself, being born on October 7, turning 27, et cetera, et cetera.... And we talked about what an important time in life the late twenties and early thirties are, when many start to reassess their lives, and finally start to "grow up" and truly become adults. For me, this also meant to finally move into and be comfortable with the Mother aspect of life as a woman/daughter of the Goddess.

I felt reaffirmed in an exploration of myself, and what it means to be me. After much thought, I decided that a Wiccan/Neo-Pagan path was the right one for me, one that I should actively follow.

So my husband and I sat down and had several long, passionate discussions about faith. Just like any of us, my husband has his flaws. but he's quite smart, and open to expanding his knowledge and understanding. And he does his best to be a Christian in the best sense of the Word, if you'll pardon the pun. He believes that there are many valid and good paths to the creator, and that there is much Truth to be found in the many faiths of the world. LOL -he just thinks his path has the most Truth. (You know, I really love this guy! :) )

He accepts my decision to become a pagan/Wiccan. I now am "growing" a personal altar in our bedroom. I am learning to live and practice my faith, and he accepts that, and defends that. And we expose our son to both the paths we walk, especially, though we also do our best to expose him to many paths to the Divine, as we believe his path should be one of his own choosing.

And so I have (almost) started over. It's familiar country, but it's country I need to re-explore, which is why this website focuses so much on the basics.

I have a lot to rediscover.

Blessed Be!
Greenmother
9/23/99
Autumnal Equinox